Drastic Measures
by Pundit
Summary: [Yaoi] It's been years since Ochimaru was last seen but when he reemerges Leaf and Sand must ally together to defeat a greater threat [planned SasuNaru, GaaraNaru, NejiNaru, ShikaIno, & KakaIru...so far ]
1. Tension

**Warnings:**

**1)** Will feature Shonen-ai and possible Yaoi later!!! That means "boy love". Yuri is also a possibility along with Het relationships. Don't like it, don't read it. It seems fairly simple.

**2)** SPOILER ALERT!!!! If you haven't read up to at least chapter 192 in the manga, don't read this fanfic……….or at least don't say I didn't warn you!

**3)** Not beta'd. Read at your own peril.

**4)** I'm an insomniac and started writing this at 5am……… be afraid, be VERY afraid!

**Pairings:** I'm not telling!!! Mwuhahahahahaha :::cough, cough:::: hahahahaha!

Actually, I'm not sure yet. Let's just say that I love RockLee x Sakura and Kakashi x Iruka!!! I really can't see these 4 with anyone else (well… maybe Sakura x Ino but… I LOVE Rock Lee so………) All other pairings (yaoi, yuri, het) are up in the air. I guess it's just the way the story decides to unfold or if anyone voices any preferences I'm ALL ears ::::hint, hint; nudge, nudge:::

Right now I'm leaning towards the main couples being SasuNaru, NejiNaru, and GaaraNaru with an imagined ShikaNaru (ie Sasuke's freaking out and thinks there's something between them) But hey! I'm versatile ::::cough, cough::::: _fickle and easily influenced_ ::::cough, cough::::: so you never know!!

**Notes:**This fic takes place 6 years after the current manga chapter. Everything else, you'll find out later.

**Disclaimer:** Naruto, I disclaim thee!

_**Drastic Measures**_

_Tension_

* * *

Naruto sprinted down the halls of the vast Central building that served as Ninja headquarters, the sound of his feet as they slapped against the marble echoing as he ran. 

"Kuso, kuso, kuso!" he muttered under his breath as he speed down the corridors, looking at his watch. He was late. The blonde had taken a wrong turn somewhere back and it'd cost him fifteen minutes until he found the uppermost level of the huge building. He must be getting closer, he reasoned, after all the floors were marbled here.

He let out a sigh of undisguised relief as he turned a corner and saw the giant oak doors of the Hokage's office, still opened wide. The meeting hadn't started yet. A smile came to Naruto's face as he spotted the figure propped up haphazardly against the wall directly opposite the lofty entrance. Even leaning against the partition the jounin's stance was easy and relaxed, the dark haired shinobi holding himself in a naturally indolent manner that no one else could ever possibly mimic.

"Oi, Shikamaru!" the blonde called out as he skidded to a halt in front of his friend, leaning over his knees and gasping for breath.

"Baka, you're late," the dark haired jounin chided, a lazy lilt to his voice. Naruto rubbed the back of his head sheepishly and flashed the teen an impish grin.

"Eh, heh heh heh………. Tsunade-baba isn't here yet, is she?" the blonde asked nervously, peering over Shikamaru's shoulder and into the large, crowded office. From his vantage point he couldn't see if the legendary Senin was present, the Hokage's desk obscured by the many jounins who stood packed tightly inside the room as they anxiously waited for the meeting to begin. The tension was so thick Naruto could feel the oppressive weight outside in the corridor.

"_Tch_," Shikamaru huffed, stuffing his hands into his pockets roughly, "The old hag isn't supposed to be here for another five minutes." Naruto blinked, wide eyed and confused for a moment.

"Eh? But I thought you said………"

"I did," the genius cut him off impatiently, "and if I'd given you the right time you'd've been here twenty minutes late and you would be bothering me for the rest of the meeting, asking to explain what you missed." Shikamaru's eyes glimmered in silent amusement as he watched Naruto's face contort into an angry pout. The blonde puffing out his cheeks indignantly, annoyed partially because his friend had so little faith in himandpartiallybecause he knew the other teen was right.

"Demo…this place is so damn big," Naruto muttered, crossing his arms over his chest bitterly.

"Hn," was his friend's only reply, the corner of his lips quirking as he suppressed a grin.

"Besides, I had to explore the place a little before I came," the blonde announced loudly, brightening up to his usual robust self, "since I'm going to be working here as Hokage someday!"

"Baka," Shikamaru said matter-of-factly as he grabbed the collar of his friend's jumpsuit and dragged him into the office. His face was stern as he pulled the muttering blonde into the crowded room and made his way over to Neji who stood with his usual impassive dignity, pressed against the wall in the back of the room.

The milky-eyed jounin merely nodded as his teammates approached. In the past three years since he had earned the rank of jounin, Neji found himself teamed up with Naruto and Shikamaru more often than not, and despite himself he thought of the two younger teens as his teammates more than he ever did with TenTen and Rock Lee. Perhaps it was because he respected and relied on them more.

"_Shikamaruuuu_!" Naruto whined, flailing at the jounin who still held a firm grip on the cloth around the blonde's neck. "Let go, dammit!"

Neji sighed and looked down at the arms crossed in front of his chest, suppressing the urge to smirk. In a real fight he knew Naruto could probably kick both their asses, coming up with unexpected, innovative strategies and producing frightening amounts of chakra. But if a mission wasn't on the line the blonde turned back into the spastic, loud idiot they knew and grudgingly… tolerated.

Shikamaru looked down with wry amusement shining in his eyes as the blonde continued to struggle.

"How troublesome," he sighed, letting go of Naruto's collar and sending him to the floor with a muffled "oomph!" The blonde glared up at the pony tailed jounin, his eyes narrowed to slits as he rubbed his butt. Shikamaru extended a hand out to his friend, feeling slightly guilty for taking out his anxiety on the blonde.

But it honestly seemed that Naruto was the only one in the entire village who was unaffected by the recent string of violence in the surrounding country side and the growing number of ninja who had gone out on assignments and never returned. It was, in a weird way, almost therapeutic to pick on the blonde a little, and for a moment Shikamaru could understand why Sasuke treated Naruto the way he did sometimes.

The pony tailed genius scowled at the thought of the last surviving member of the Uchiha clan, feeling the bitter taste of hatred rise up in the back of his throat like bile. He shook his head slightly, clearing all thought of the traitorous bastard from his head as Naruto took the offered hand. The blonde began to mutter obscenities under his breath as he was pulled from the ground, bumping into the surrounding shinobi as he stood.

The older jounins glared at Naruto wickedly as he nudged up against them before turning back to the front of the room, pointedly ignoring him. The blonde sighed as he squeezed himself between Shikamaru and Neji, his body squished uncomfortably between two of his regular teammates. He didn't want to give anyone else a reason to cast those cold eyes on him again.

Although in recent years between gaining recognition from two of the three legendary Senins, and proving himself on countless missions many of the shinobi had cultivated a grudging respect-- or at the very least tolerance-- for the demon vessel and those eyes while not warm were no longer as hateful. The villagers on the other hand were another story entirely. However Naruto did notice that when he was around Shikamaru the glaring disgusted looks came less frequently and with less intensity. He supposed that was one of the reasons why he liked being around the genius ninja. That and because Shikamaru had, in one way or another, always acknowledged the loudmouth shinobi. Even at the academy. But…

Since Chouji's death Shikamaru hadn't really been the same. After the first few months he started interacting with the other shinobi who graduated from his class, but there was a spark in his eyes that seemed to have died with his childhood friend. It was weeks before he did anything but sleep, go on missions, and train.

Everyone had been relieved beyond words when the lazy ninja had started looking at clouds again, so relieved in fact that the adults didn't even care that it was the vessel of the Kyubi that got him to do it. If spending time with the Hidden Leaf's number one loudest ninja was what helped Shikamaru out of his depressive funk, then they were willing to overlook their hatred of the blonde in the mean time.

Only, things didn't work out quite the way the villagers were expecting. Because even as time wore on it was only with Naruto and later Ino that the genius ever seemed at peace. When neither of them were with him, there was a haunted look lurking behind his dark eyes and it wasn't until one of their loud, grating voices sounded nearby that any spark of life could really be discerned on his face.

Adversely, Shikamaru couldn't stand to be in the general vicinity of Sasuke. Chouji's death being a direct result of the Uchiha survivor's brief abdication, it was likely that Shikamaru would never forgive him. Privately, those who knew the events surrounding Chouji's death suspected that the dark haired genius might try to seek revenge on the shigan user someday. And he probably would have, if not for Naruto.

Because as much as the blonde loudmouth complained, Shikamaru knew that in a weird, dysfunctional, totally illogical way Sasuke was to Naruto what Choujihad beento him. And he couldn't hurt the blonde idiot like that. Naruto was precious to him and so what was precious to Naruto was at the very least safe from Shikamaru. But if things ever changed, if Naruto died (not that he wanted to think about that… but he couldn't _help_ it sometimes) or if Sasuke ever hurt the blonde again, then Shikamaru would slit the bastard's throat.

Naruto realized this, in the vague way thoughts that have never been given voice to are understood. And if anything it made him an even more successful ninja, because he realized that if he were ever to die then either Sasuke or Shikamaru (he couldn't predict which) would follow him soon after. And he would do anything to protect his precious people.

Even live.

So in the mean time, the blonde kept the two dark haired ninja apart from one another, hoping that perhaps they could forget or at least dull the tension and bitterness that existed between them.

Naruto leaned back against the hard wall and lowered his head in thought. All the jounin in the Leaf had been called here today since the old hag was going to make an announcement concerning the safety of the village. The jounin being elite ninja, there were few enough of them to fit into her huge office (barely, even though it basically took up the entire upper story of Central Headquarters) and being elite they were privileged with information other members of the community were not privy to.

It was a sure thing that both Shikamaru and Sasuke would be there, though hopefully they wouldn't come in contact with each other. On the whole, once Naruto realized that some things can never be repaired, he generally tried to keep his two friends as far apart as physically possible.

Usually it wasn't hard. Tsunade-baba seemed to understand Sasuke and Shikamaru's mutual animosity and assigned them missions accordingly. They were never teamed together and usually it was orchestrated so that when one was on leave in the village the other was out on assignment. In fact, it seemed their only link to one another was Naruto.

It was strange, though perhaps fortunate, that both jounin seemed to work best with the loudmouthed ninja. Since most adult shinobi were appalled by the idea of working with a 'demon' Naruto was usually teamed with members of the younger generation, those who didn't know of his connection to the Nine Tails. And with the hyperactive blonde's unfathomable stamina and willingness to prove himself, sending him out on missions almost continuously wasn't much of a problem. In fact, Tsunade had begun to joke that Naruto was working harder than her.

She was only half kidding.

As it stood, Tsunade usually paired the Kyubi with Neji and Shikamaru half the time and the other half paired him with Sasuke and Shino. Needless to say, interacting between the two groups was difficult for the blonde, but if he ever wanted to be Hokage he was going to have to learn how to deal with delicate matters such as this.

But Naruto hated having the people he held dear to him at odds with one another, and even after three years he still found it difficult to accept. He often found himself forgetting the animosity that existed between his friends since it didn't usually see it on a daily basis.

It was only on the few occasions that Shikamaru and Sasuke were forced to come into contact with one another that the blonde remembered… and even then he sometimes screwed up and caused even more tension between the two (even though he was fairly certain that was now _impossible_).

Naruto could sympathize with Shikamaru's hatred for Sasuke but he wasn't even sure why Sasuke seemed to loathe the pony tailed ninja. He only knew that Uchiha seemed to hate Nara with as much passion as the other hated him. Perhaps something had happened between the two that he didn't know about…

Either way, Naruto vowed with a determined nod as he wiggled uncomfortably between his two teammates, he wouldn't let things between two of his most important people become any worse. He would just make sure they didn't see each other during the meeting, it was as simple as that.

"You're actually on time, dobe" a cool baritone interrupted his thoughts. Naruto lifted his head, his brow still creased by thought, as he looked up to meet the gaze of his childhood rival and first real friend.

"_Tch_, Sasuke. You bastard, Of course I'm on time," he replied automatically before lowering his head to return to his musings.

How was he going to make sure they didn't come near each other? That was the real problem. It was likely that Sasuke would seek Naruto out in the crowd; he usually did. Maybe if Naruto moved away from Shikama----

Wait.

Naruto lifted his head again and gulped.

Sasuke's eyes flashed menacingly as he noticed the close proximity between Nara and Naruto. Their shoulders touching and the sides of their outer thighs brushing against each other as they pushed up next to one another in the cramped space of the Hokage's office. Naruto's eyes followed the jounin's gaze to Shikamaru and he noticed that his other friend was glaring back at the Uchiha with equal hatred.

"KUSO!!!" the blonde yelled, slamming his sandaled foot hard onto the marble floor._ 'Shit! I did it **again**!'_ he seethed as he quickly grabbed the raven haired shinobi by his blue shirt and hurriedly shoved him through the crowd. Calling back to Neji and Shikamaru with a muffled "I'm gonna go over here! Ja ne!" Naruto disappeared into the throng of shinobi with lightning speed, pulling Sasuke with him.

"Let go, dobe," Sasuke said calmly once Naruto had dragged him clear across the room, making more than one jounin brandish a kunai at them as the two teens shoved their way through the mass of heavily armed and incredibly skilled shinobi. Sasuke's wrist tingled pleasantly where the blonde still held him. Naruto looked down at his hand, realized that he was still holding onto his rival,and promptlyleaped back like he burned himself.

"_Ewww!_ Sasuke germs!" the idiot shouted, making a production of whipping his hand on his pants. Sasuke rolled his eyes and was about to make some kind of derogatory comment directed at the blonde when the constant murmur that filled the office abruptly stopped. The raven haired jounin looked to the front of the room.

Tsunade-sama was finally there.

Naruto, meanwhile, continued to wipe his palm across the coarse cloth of his jumpsuit. Sasuke nudged him in the stomach to get his attention. Hard.

"Ooomp!" The kyubi grunted as he was elbowed in the gut and glared up at his rival. Why was everyone picking on him today? "Teme, Sasu-" he began, but the raven haired jounin smacked him upside the head before he could say another word and pointed toward the front of the room.

"Shut up, Dead Last. The Hokage's here," He said in a low, hushed voice.

"Oh"

"We're all very busy so I'll make this quick… I know many of you have witnessed first hand the rash of violence and death that has broken out in the area during the last few months," her voice was loud but somber, "And more of you have lost friends and comrades on missions that were not supposed to be dangerous," Many of the jounins in the crowd nodded, grief and anxiety evident on their features.

"We are not the only ones suffering under these circumstances. As Hokage it is my responsibility to protect the people of this village and this country." Tsunade paused, her face stern and certain but her eyes were tired as she continued "And so the Hidden Leaf and the Hidden Sand have agreed to an alliance."

A soft murmur was emitted from the shinobi gathered in the room as a few began to discuss this surprising development amongst themselves. But it was quickly silenced as they redirected their attention back to their leader.

"For now, the alliance is nothing more than an acknowledgement of a common threat to both our villages. A few select shinobi from the Sand will come to the Kohona and a few from Kohona will go to the Hidden Sand as a sign of good faith. The rest of the village will be informed of these developments in due time. Until then, I expect you Jounin to keep an eye on our… guests, and make them feel welcome."

There was a silence from the crowd. The meeting had done nothing to ease the minds of the shinobi there, but had instead merely added to their anxiety.

"That is all," the Hokage said after a long moment, letting the information sink in, "You are dismissed."

"Wait a minute, Tsunade-baba!" a loud voice echoed through the silent hall "Why the _HELL_ are we working with the Hidden _Sand_ Village?!?! We can take care of this on our own!" Naruto cried out, voicing the question on everyone's mind. Anger and surprise were etched onto his face.

After all, it was only a few uprisings here and there when you got right down to it.

Tsunuade looked in the direction of the blonde and let out a weary sigh.

"Because," she said matter-of-factly, exhaustion seeping into her voice, "Orochimaru is back."

* * *

Dun, dun, DUN!!!!! 

TBC… (probably )


	2. Surprises

**Warnings:** Same as before

**Notes:** Sorry for the loooooooong ass wait.

_**Drastic Measures  
**Surprises_

* * *

The Hokage retired to her personal rooms after her speech, leaving the mass of jounin in the main chamber to talk amongst themselves. While many had decided to leave immediately, no longer having reason to remain in the tower now that the announcement had been made, many more continued to loiter there, discussing the consequences of an alliance with the Sand and what it meant.

Shikamaru Nara, however, did neither. Instead, the lethargic teen merely opted to continue leaning against the wall and allow this new information to drift through his mind.

Besides, he didn't really feel like moving anyway.

Neji shifted beside him a moment later, drawing the indolent ninja's attention away from his thoughts and onto his stoic teammate. Neji was staring at the crowd, or rather _through_ it, if the bulging veins around his eyes were any indication. Shikamaru smirked slightly as his teammate searched out Naruto in the forest of jounin.

Despite the unexpected reappearance of Orochimaru, the pony tailed jounin couldn't help but laugh to himself. It was amusing to think that Hinata wasn't the only Hyuuga smitten with Kohona's most infamous troublemaker and too shy to tell him. Though if he hadn't known Neji as well as he did,he might have found it a little creepy that the Hyuuga prodigy used his ninjitsu skills to stalk their teammate. As it was, he just found it amusing.

Still, if Neji ever so much as _suspected_ that Shikamaru knew about his little secret, the genius jounin wouldn't live to see the next sunrise (not that the lazy ninja was ever awake early enough to watch the sunrise, mind you, but that _wasn't the point_).

This line of thought was again interrupted as Neji suddenly pushed off the wall, heading for the door. Shikamaru frowned slightly at his teammate as he deftly navigated through the crowd and disappeared into the throng. The pony tailed ninja sighed after a moment and followed after him. Neji rarely did anything for no reason.

Halfway to the door it became obvious to Shikamaru why his stoic teammate had decided to head toward the hall as he caught a blond blur emerging from the crowd. His mouth tightened in exasperation as the perpetrator dashed out of the room and into the corridor, completely unaware of the dirty looks he received. The genius sighed, knowing what the look etched onto the blond's face meant.

Naruto was about to do something stupid.

* * *

Tsunade closed her eyes as she let herself fall heavily into the worn leather chair behind her desk. It was old and comfortable, but not quite so soft that it would slow her down if the need to move quickly suddenly arose. Some days that chair was the only thing that kept her from giving up her title entirely.

**"Tsunade-baba!"** a muffled shout filtered in through the other side of her office door before bursting open in the wake of a rather pissed off looking blond.

The Hokage sighed, trying to sink down farther into her chair. She'd found it was usually best to be sitting in it whenever she had to deal with Naruto... as a _reminder_ of sorts.

_**"Tsunade-baba!!!"**_ the blond raged again, only without the thick door to serve as a buffer the sound was considerably more painful. Already Tsunade could feel a throbbing behind her temples.

"Not so loud, brat," she winced, slightly surprised by just how quickly the young jounin had managed to get past her guards. She made a mental note to talk to someone about that later.

"_Dammit!_ Why didn't you tell me that bastard was back?! And why the _**HELL** _isn't Sasuke being better protected?!" The vein on his forehead looked like it was ready to burst, and Tsunade mentally cringed. She had anticipated this when she first decided to make the announcement, these angry questions, but she still didn't know how to answer them. The Hokage bit back a sigh and met the gaze of the man across from her before answering.

"You didn't need to know." It was as close to the truth as she was willing to get.

Blue eyes flashed with barely contained rage, but there was something more than just anger and frustration there. A hint of betrayal maybe? The Hokage flexed her hand slightly. She and Naruto had formed a... friendship of sorts over the years and it must have stung to know she would keep something so important from him, especially when he had such a personal interest in it.

But the Elders had expressly forbidden her to tell the kitsune anything on the subject, as apparently her affectionate, almost sisterly regard for him hadn't gone unnoticed by Kohona at large. And as burning blue eyes stared at her, demanding answers, Tsunade couldn't bring herself to tell the boy that despite all his efforts he was still only barely tolerated by those in the upper echelons of the village government.

In fact more than a few of the council members had voiced their concerns about Naruto's loyalty to the Leaf. They were terrified of what could happen if Orochimaru managed to recruit the boy to his side like he had almost done with Sasuke. Never mind that the blond was the one who talked the last of the valued Shigan line _back,_ or that he had risked his life a hundred times over for the safety of the only place he had ever called "home".

Tsunade hated it, but there was little she could do. Being Hokage also meant listening to the voice of the community even if she herself didn't agree _at all_ with what it said. But Naruto didn't have to know that even the 'wisest' citizens of Kohona were still wary of him. He didn't have to know that so many _still_ refused to see him for who he was rather than what he carried inside him.

And Tsunade refused to be the one to tell him.

"Bull shit," Naruto ground out slowly. Deliberately. Most men would have cowered from the glare Tsunade shot the impulsive teenfrom across the room, but then, most men had a sense of self preservation. Regardless, the blond seem unfazed.

"_You_ are not the Hokage, Naruto, _**I**_ am." the Fifth reminded him, her voice so dangerously low that it was impossible notto hear the warning behind it. Naruto didn't miss her tone, and in a rare act of intelligence chose to keep his mouth shut. Still, the twitching of his jaw muscles and the hands fisted tightly at his sides spoke volumes. For a moment the Hokage was actually afraid that if she waited any longer to answer him the blond might have an aneurysm, his face was so red from his barely contained anger.

"As for Uchiha, we've been giving him missions as far away from Orochimaru's location as possible." she continued, trying to soothe the boy in front of her, "And while he's not out on assignment Kakashi's been keeping an eye on him." The blond huffed, angry but no longer livid. Hokage's face softened at the worry she recognized hidden behind Naruto's stubborn blue eyes, and whether it was out of guilt or affection Tsunade felt the need to comfort the young jounin.

"Don't worry so much, brat, "she smiled, offering a half smile, "Orochimaru isn't strong enough to try anything; Sasuke can take care of himself"

_'For now'_ she added silently.

"I didn't say he couldn't," Naruto mumbled. His response was automatic, natural. The Fifth's words had eased his mind, if only a little. After all, Hokage would never tell him something that wasn't true **…**

**… **Unless there was money involved.

Then the old hag would lie through her teeth if she thought she couldmake an extra buck.

"But we still don't need any help from the _Sand_ dammit!" Naruto yelled indignantly, as he thought back to the meeting and the Hokage's unexpected announcement. The jounin glared at nothing in particular, thoroughly pissed off by the mere _suggestion_ that Leaf needed outside help... especially from those traitorous bastards.

Tsunade mentally winced. She'd almost forgotten about the agreement with Hidden Sand. Negotiations were still somewhat in the works, but most of it had already been decided. For some reason, she highly doubted Naruto would be happy with what she had to tell him.

"About that..."

* * *

Shikamaru leaned against the wall opposite the door to the Hokage's private office and closed his eyes. The yelling had died down a while ago, and he suspected Tsunade-sama had managed to beat some sense into his disrespectful teammate.

Either that or she had finally snapped and killed him.

The lazy jounin sighed. It was so troublesome being friends with an impulsive, rowdy dimwit like Naruto but at least it was rarely ever boring. Actually, it was pretty fun; Uzamaki had an uncanny ability of just bringing the best outin people, especially his friends. So it wasn't surprising that when Naruto cared about a person, they couldn't help but care back.

Knowing this, Shikamaru couldn't help but curse himself for not realizing that he and Neji wouldn't be the only ones to follow the blond. The Nara's lips tightened as his eyes flicked to the left, falling on the lithe form of Uchiha Sasuke leaning against a pillar no more than ten yards down.

No, being Naruto's friend was never dull but it did have its drawbacks.

The lazy teen didn't have the chance to sulk about it long though, as his bitter thoughts were suddenly interrupted by a very loud and definitely angry:

**_"_****_NANI?!?!?!_****_"_**

Shikamaru winced in sympathy for the Hokage. He had a door between him and the idiot and even _his_ ears rang from the noise. Kami only knew how _she _felt.

"What happened?" he sighed, turning slowly to look at his other teammate. Neji stood at attention, the veins around his eyes bulging as he stared through the lacquered wood that separated them from the Fifth's private quarters, a little smile pulling at the corners of his lips. Shikamaru's own lips quirked in anticipation. Hyuga almost never smiled (well his mouth would twitch in a certain way when he found something amusing sometimes, but that didn't count)so when his lips curved up into something a normal person could identify as a grin, it had to be _good._

"He's on her desk," Neji replied, voice as calm as always, but his eyes soft with affection. "Jumping."

Well, that explained the pounding.

Shikamaru quirked an eyebrow and turned back to the door, staring at it as though he too might be able to look through it if he tried hard enough. "How's Hokage-sama taking it?" he asked flatly after a moment, wondering if he should go in and do damage control.

After all, even Tsunade had her limits and she was usually quite physical when someone crossed them. Particularly when that someone was Naruto. The pony tailed jounin sighed again. Their team had a mission the next day and he really didn't want to listen to the blond bitching about how sore his head was the entire time.

Which was never even true since the guy healed so quickly anyway.

"Pretty well," Neji replied after a moment, his smirk now fully formed. There was a loud "thunk" from the other side of the door, followed by a rather pitiful "Oww!" and Shikamaru frowned.

"She only used her fist this time."

What a bother.

There was another long minute of silence, broken only by the occasional murmuring that managed to seep through the walls and spill out into the hall. Finally the door opened and a very sullen looking Naruto stepped out into the hallway, muttering to himself and completely oblivious of his surroundings.

"Can't believe … traitors… stupid old hag," he growled, "... am I supposed to do… owes me so much ramen…panda eyed freak…"

Shikamaru looked at him oddly, biting back his laugher. Somewhere some ninja was rolling in his grave, mortified that a idiot like _this _had defeated him. There would be quite a few of them by now actually, since Naruto had become an undeniably skilled, insanely strong ninja. And he took on more missions than practically anyone else in the village.

Shikamaru opened his mouth to say something when his words were cut off before they even had a chance to be uttered.

"What are you mumbling about, dobe?"

Naruto looked up, surprised, and stared at Sasuke. "Eh?"

The Uchiha smirked. "You're a ninja and you don't notice when someone's standing right in front of you in broad daylight?" he mocked.

"Shut up, Teme," Naruto replied half heartedly, frowning. Cerulean blue eyes swept over the red eyed jounin, unable to hid the concern behind them.

"What'd she say?" Neji asked, making Naruto turn on his heal to face his other two teammates. The blond's face darkened a moment, his pout returning full force.

"She said I'm 'on a temporary sabbatical' so I can 'entertain' the visitors from the Sand," he growled. "They asked for me _specifically_…" he folded his arms crossly, "Stupid old _hag_. Who knows what that freaky eyed psycho's gonna do to me!?! At least I can hit him though… well, only if he hits me _first_…" another frown. "I hope he doesn't expect me to give him my bed."

**_"What?"_**

Six sets of eyes swiveled over to the momentarily forgotten Uchiha, whose eyes suddenly flared in the tell-tale red of the Sharingan. Shikamaru swallowed thickly. He hated the selfish bastard, but even _he_ had to admit that Sasuke could be intimidating as hell.

"I _know!_" Naruto exclaimed angrily, throwing his hands up into the air and oblivious to the menace in his teammate's voice . "And she didn't even _ask _me, stupid Tsunade-baba! It's this or I'm fired!" The blond continued to fume as he stomped down the hall, presumably towards the exit, muttering to himself the whole way.

Sasuke shot a murderous glare toward the Hokage's door before turning on his heel and following after his teammate. Shikamaru frowned, wanting to talk to Naruto more but unwilling to stay with the Uchiha. Beside him, Neji's scowl mirrored his own, though Shikamaru suspected they had different reasons. Either way the pony tailed jounin was more disturbed by what Naruto had told them than by Sasuke's presence.

Because it wasn't just any Sand coming to Kohona, it was _**Gaara**_. And for some reason he had specifically asked to stay with Naruto.

Shikamaru's frown deepened.

No good could possibly come of this.

* * *

**A/N:**

No, no. I'm not dead. Just lazy, forgetful, and uninspired. My computer broke down, my friend got cancer, and I misplaced my muse somewhere along the way. Sorry for the LONG ASS wait though.

**Note: **This story is officially AU, breaking off from the real story line somewhere around chapter 200. So don't flame me about it not coinciding with the manga. Feel free to bitch at me about anything else though (except Shonen-ai related complaints).

I have every intention of finishin _all_ of my fics. But I lose stuff like story outlines that have the plot written out and then the whole thing goes to hell so I don't update for a while (I found this one again though, and now it's saved on my computer, so all is well).

I doubt anyone cares or remembersabout this fic anymore, but I'm sorry anyway!

Ja ne & Haappy New Year!

-Jiro


	3. Of Brooding and Ramen

**Warning:** Extremely short.

_**Drastic Measures  
**Of Brooding and Ramen_

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Sometimes Naruto really didn't understand what the hell Sasuke was thinking. Usually he figured it was something like: _'I am the best. I must kill my brother. I'm so hot I can be as big an ass as I want and everyone will love me anyway. Ha Ha Ha.'_ Stuff like that. But every now and then the raven haired teen would act completely out of character and Naruto wouldn't know _what_ to make of it.

Like now, for example.

The blond flicked his eyes to the ninja sitting next to him slyly and slurped up another mouthful of noodles, noting the red tint to his teammate's naturally black eyes with mild confusion. Sasuke had been alternately sulking and fuming for the past 2 hours, which in and of itself wasn't really unusual. The fact that he seemed to be brooding about something other than his brother, his ninjitsu, or his most recent stalker, however was positively _bizarre_.

The blond chewed his noodles thoughtfully. Yes, being assigned a shit job like babysitting Gaara of the Sand was… well, it was a shit job. But it was _Naruto's_ shit job. So why Sasuke was all in a tizzy about it was beyond him. But whatever it was, it had prompted the Uchiha-bastard into treating him to ramen and Naruto just couldn't find it in himself to brood about Sasuke's brooding for too long while there was a bowl full of hot, mouth watering noodles sitting in front of him. It just seemed like a waste.

Did he mention it was free?

Naruto frowned slightly as his chopsticks hit the bottom of the bowl and glanced over at his rival. "You gonna eat that?" he asked, eying the untouched ramen sitting in front of the other ninja greedily. A smile lit his face as Sasuke wordlessly pushed the bowl towards him.

"I don't like it," the raven haired teen announced after a moment. Naruto frowned at the abrupt declaration, unsure if Sasuke was referring to the situation with Gaara or to the noodles. He sincerely hoped he meant the Gaara thing or otherwise the blond'd be forced to kick his friend's ass.

No one talked shit about ramen.

_No one_.

"Sand's never been in hurry to help us out before," Sasuke continued darkly, glaring at the wall over his steepled fingers. "They're too eager."

Naruto shrugged, stuffing another bite of noodles into his mouth. "You were gone a while," he reminded his friend flatly, "Things change."

The raven haired teen glared. If anyone else had said that, Sasuke would've punched him. But it was Naruto, and the dobe hadn't brought up Sasuke's two year long absence to rub it in his face, he'd brought it up because it was true.

Still that didn't make the situation any better and the dark haired teen frowned at the prospect of his best friend sharing an apartment with a documented psychopath. "You really want him living with you?"

Naruto scratched at the back of his head. "Eh, not really but it won't be so bad. Gaara's alright. He actually came back a few years ago and apologized to Lee." He grinned mischievously, blue eyes twinkling with humor, "Stopped talking to himself too, I think."

If anything that easy dismissal of the notorious Sand-nin made Sasuke's scowl deepen. The raven haired teen clenched his jaw, determined to protect his dumbass best friend from his own stupidity. If all it took was an apology and a silent inner monologue to get into the blond's good graces then Naruto was going to get screwed over a lot in his life. Most of the time Sasuke was thankful for the dobe's easy going nature, hell it was the reason they were still friends, but it pissed the Uchiha off to know that other people might use it to hurt him. He refused to analyze the reason behind the protective streak that the moron brought out in him too deeply, but he suspected it was similar to the reason that adults wanted to protect little blind children from stumbling into on coming traffic.

"When are they coming anyway?" he asked, focusing back on the topic at hand.

Beside him Naruto glanced at the clock and suddenly began chocking on his ramen, sputtering as he hit himself in the back of the head in an attempt to dislodge the food. Sasuke rolled his eyes, a hint of a smile tugging at his lips as he shoved a glass of water into his gasping friend's hand. "Moron," he grumbled affectionately as the blonde sucked in a deep breath.

Naruto fisted both hands in his hair, completely ignoring the other boy's comment. "Shit!" he shrieked, standing up so quickly that his stool crashed to the floor. "Baa-san is gonna _kill_ me!"

The stoic teen scowled at the blond tuft of hair as it disappeared out the door. The looks on the other patron's faces at the stream of curses spilling out the dobe's mouth might've been funny under other circumstances, but as it was it made Sasuke's stomach twist. Gaara was coming that soon?

Frowning, Sasuke dropped some bills on the counter and raced toward the Hokage's tower.

After all, the moron hadn't even thanked him properly.

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**A/N:**

_Really_ short chapter but it's been sitting on my desktop literally since April so I thought I might as well post it even though it's so… pointless. A little Sasu/Naru fluff but I was planning on introducing Gaara before I posted. Still, I figure if I post it now it might motivate me into getting up off my butt with this story. Sorry guys.


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